My Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

This prayer is commonly used by alcoholics in recovery, but its message is applicable to anyone who is at some kind of a crossroads in his or her life, even someone like me who doesn't really believe in God. Lately, I have found myself reciting some form of this prayer in my head, addressing the universe in general rather than any particular god, to help me cope with the state of limbo in which I find myself at this point in my life. 

Most people who know me know that I have found it challenging, to say the least, to live where I currently do. In fact, in the past 6 years, I have experienced feelings similar to the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I started out thinking living here would be a very temporary situation; once year 1 went by and it seemed we weren't going anywhere anytime soon (thanks, recession), I became angry. I became aware that I was spending my 20s, the supposed self-exploratory prime of one's life, in a place that did not exactly foster self-exploration. There were a lot of fights between Israel and me, and some resentment on my part. This was soon followed by my scheming and budget planning and proposals to Israel in efforts to convince the both of us that there was really nothing stopping us from picking up and leaving. Israel's stubborn (and practical...and responsible) refusals of my propositions sent me into the next phase: depression. And yes, I was genuinely depressed for a period of time- I felt friendless, hopeless, and my main source of joy was eating chicken chile verde with sour cream on a large bed of white rice. Luckily, a combination of emotional maturation a new sense of career direction pulled me out of this and showed me a light at the end of the tunnel, pushing me along to the final phase: acceptance.

Feeling most like myself: Coffee in hand, wandering downtown LA waiting for a live performance of Waiting For Godot to begin. 

Before anyone thinks that I am loosely applying a concept meant to address real loss to my own first-world problem, I'll just tell you, you're right. And to those that have experienced real loss, please don't think that I am minimizing your experiences by comparing them to my own. That being said, I was grieving a loss, not of someone, but something: my expectations for my twenties. And before my family members and friends who have faced greater adversity than I have, who didn't have luxury of envisioning a carefree decade of personal and professional growth, roll their eyes and dismiss me as a spoiled brat, reserve your judgments and keep in mind that the only experiences we know are our own, and in my experience, I was on the path to spend my 20s eating, drinking, and museum-hopping in a major city- the small town girl who got out of the small town and never looked back. When the slow realization came that this would not happen, it was devastating to my sense of identity.

As I said before, maturity and a renewed sense of direction led to my eventual acceptance of my current geographic location. Beginning my studies in speech-language pathology not only introduced to me a career that was challenging and stimulating enough without being completely intimidating, but the high-demand and comfortable salary gave me hope that we would someday be able to live where we wanted. On top of that, as I entered my later 20s, I became able to appreciate the solid and loving relationship that Israel and I had developed during our time living here. And I have yet to mention the renewed bond with members of my extended family who live here; going to family parties, watching the children of my brother and my cousin's grow up, being in the comforting presence of people who understand my crazy family because they are my crazy family, are all priceless gifts that I would never have received had I been distracted by the glamour of a big city. For these reasons, I have decided to not regret my time living here; it has grounded me and connected me to the things that are real and unchanging in life, family and love. 

My family really is pretty great...

There is no regret, but I am still the same person I was when I first moved here 6 years ago, the same person I was at the age of 17 when I decided to go away to San Diego for college, the same person I was who never really fit into the small town my mother decided to raise me in. And that person, me- I long to be in a different environment. There is a part of me that comes alive when I am in the city, and not just when I am doing fun things on Saturdays, but when I am in class with some of the most intelligent women I've ever met, when I am observing at rehabilitation facilities with talented professionals who are applying the concepts and methods that my eager mind is absorbing in school, even when I am stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway at 1pm on a weekday, listening to KCRW. I've lived in a city and in a small town, and I know which I prefer. 

As I enter the final year of my studies, the light at the end of the tunnel is becoming larger and larger, and I am getting closer and closer to having greater control over my circumstances. In the meantime, though, my situation remains the same, and there is much that is out of my control. My acceptance of this situation is precarious, though, as I find myself alternating between and simultaneously experiencing those old feelings of grief: denial that we have to wait another year to move, anger that there is nothing we can do about it right now, bargaining with the same old budget proposals that could buy us an early move, depression about my inability to jump forward a year, and, in my most mature and well-rested moments, acceptance that this year will be spent living in the same situation as the previous 6. But this time there is hope. There is a timeline in place and, in the grand scheme of life, it is a relatively short timeline at that. So that is where the serenity prayer comes in. Israel and I are doing everything in our power to ensure that a move happens within our expected timeline. Those things that are not in our power, we need to serenely accept to avoid undue stress and unhappiness. It's when I can't tell the difference between the two that I get myself into trouble. So, I say again:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

Lifestyle In Progress: Upkeep of My "Temple"

This week, I started getting comments from friends about (positive) changes in my appearance. Unlike a couple of years ago, when I lost a significant amount of weight without trying (don't hate me, it was my first year teaching- and I gained a lot of it back), this time the changes in my body were the result of conscious choices. You see, I am turning 29 this year, and I suppose I had some realization that time's a-marchin' on and I ain't gettin' any younger, nor is my body becoming any more efficient at using the calories I consume. In fact, as we all know, it becomes quite less efficient, and 30 seems like that magic age before which, if you make changes, they will be easier to make and maintain. So, as I see 30 coming closer and closer, I have incorporated some said changes into my lifestyle.

Do you see why I finally decided to get my act together?? Only 417 days- nooooooo!

These changes were not made in an effort to lose weight, so much as to ensure that I can maintain my current weight as age changes my metabolism. Please note that I did not make these changes all at once, nor did I make them spontaneously. They reflect things that I have learned over the past couple of years, and considered carefully in terms of my realistic ability to sustain them as habits. Also note that these are not necessarily recommendations (as I am not qualified to make those), but rather choices that have worked for me. I am sharing them now because they have culminated in a lifestyle that I am becoming proud of, and feel that they might be helpful to some.

1. Limit ALL white grains. Man, did it take me a while to implement this one. Most of us know by now that white grains are not good for us. In fact, one of my friends recently told me that her nutritionist said they basically convert straight to sugar in your body. I had little trouble switching out bread and pasta for whole grains. No, the killer for me was rice. Soft, fluffy, buttery, delicious white rice that I have been eating and loving my whole life- it was a real crusher when I found out that this would have to go. Earlier this year, I decided to stop buying my ubiquitous side dish at the grocery store, so I cannot cook it anymore. I still have it when my mom makes her legendary Mexican rice, or when I go to a Mexican or Asian restaurant, but aside from that, no more white rice for me. Here are some substitutes that I frequently use now to take the place of rice and pasta:
                       
                          Red lentils
                          Quinoa
                          Bulgur wheat
                          Brown rice (Frozen, from Trader Joe's. I don't mess with trying to cook that stuff.)
                          Spaghetti Squash

Cooked bulgur wheat. If you're a wonderful Middle Eastern chef like my friend Rita, you can make it from scratch. I make the instant 10-minute kind from TJ's. I don't love it on its own, but it adds heartiness when mixed with vegetables and proteins. Coincidentally , this plate is also the size I usually eat dinner off of (see: Portions, Portions, Portions). 

2. Replace coffee with green tea. Another one I had to consider for a while. I knew that coffee was a source of cholesterol, fat (because of the half and half I love to add) and sugar. I tried swapping those out for almond milk and agave nectar, but it wasn't as good, and I realized that, if coffee is not delicious, I don't really need it. I still drink it on the weekends (the delicious, half-and-half-and-sugar version, guilt free), but on the week days, I now prefer some Trader Joe's Organic Green Tea.

3. Eat mostly fish, soy, and legumes for protein. This actually started with Israel deciding that he wanted to be a pescatarian. We started grocery shopping only for fish and soy products (which, I'll admit, makes cooking less fun); the only poultry we still eat at home is my turkey chili, because, well, yum (note: it can also be made with tofu or double the amount of beans). We eat salmon, tilapia, tuna, tofu, tempeh, and veggie burgers. We also supplement with more black beans and lentils- low/no cholesterol protein, essentially.

Lentils: surprisingly delicious. Tofu: either you love it or you hate it, and I love it. Black beans: I could eat every day. I make a large batch of beans like this one (some has already been used for chili) by simmering 3 cups of dry beans with some salt, cumin, crushed garlic cloves, and bay leaves, until the beans are tender.

4. Limit dairy consumption. This is more about the way dairy makes me feel. I tend to feel kinda bloated and (let's be honest) gassy when I eat dairy. I still love the way it tastes, but mainly the full-fat variety; unfortunately, with all of the saturated fat and cholesterol, it's just not something I can have in my daily diet. And no, low/no-fat is not an option for me, as I find its existence an almost pointless oxymoron. My dairy consumption is generally limited to two slices of cheese per week, and maybe an egg or two on the weekends. I use almond milk for smoothies and cereal.

5. Choose "healthy" take-out options. Because, of course, life gets busy and cooking isn't always an option, I have some stand-by, relatively harmless takeout go-to options that I can eat guilt-free, other than the possible presence of chemical preservatives and high sodium levels (though I do try to eat at places that make natural ingredients a priority). Some favorites: Salmon or tuna roll from my favorite sushi place (one roll is enough, and not the ones with cream cheese, fried and drenched in sauce- fresh is best); Chipotle bowl with brown rice, black beans, grilled veggies, pico de gallo, medium salsa, and guacamole; and Sharky's Fresh Mexican Grill's Santa Fe Lite Burrito.

I don't really keep track of my sodium intake, so I couldn't tell you about that, but otherwise the stats looks pretty good for yummy takeout!

6. Portions, Portions, Portions. There is no mystery here. There is not a single person with the level of activity most of us have who should be eating a large, heaping plate of food. My friend Tara said she has learned that your should eat until you are 80% full, then stop and see how you feel. I am still trying to learn to gauge that, so, for now, I am using my visual perception and trying to only eat meals that are equivalent in volume to (what I estimate is) the size of my stomach. My cousin said she heard that this is about the volume of your two hands cupped together (see how we all share info to help each other out?). For most, this should be able to fit on a small plate. You may have to eat more often, so it is important to pack snacks like fruit and nuts. Also: chew, swallow, and breathe before taking another bite. You'll be surprised how much less you eat when you eat more slowly, sometimes because you run out of time to eat or you just get bored of eating.

7. Exercise most days of the week. I would say a number, and it would probable be 5-6 days a week, but I know that sometimes that is not realistic for everyone (including me). But I think that most of us can commit to at least 30 minutes of exercise, 4 days a week. My love of running is well-documented in this blog, but I have recently added some light weight training and occasional cross-training to my repertoire. And I don't do it all in one day. This is not the exercise of your early 20s, where it's been so long since you went to the gym that you feel like you have to stay at least an hour and a half to make up for lost time, and then burn out after 2 weeks. No, I run 3-4 days a week for 30-50 minutes (depending on the length of my run) and go to the gym twice a week for 45 minutes (an hour if I am there with a friend, just because it's more fun!). Some days I like to try at-home workouts that look interesting from Pinterest or things people post of Facebook. It really is just about finding a way to stay active.

This is an example of an at-home workout I do. You wouldn't think that a routine that could be summed up in so few words, with such simple instructions and no equipment could kick your butt as much as this kicks mine!
Source: fitsugar

8. A couple more randoms...

I sort of count calories- not in any exact way, but I have enough knowledge of the foods I eat to keep a rough estimate, which helps me keep how much I eat in check. I subtract calories I burned during workouts to make sure I am eating enough.

I pay attention to how many grams of sugar and fat I eat (again, a rough estimate). I've read that neither should exceed 30 grams for women. Sugar is still an issue for me, because, again, yum.

Phew. Feels like that was a lot. Again, this is all information that I have learned and implemented over a course of time, and it has been effective at helping me reach my personal health goals. It brought my cholesterol down (it was a little high last year), has strengthened my body, improved my digestion, and yes, I did lose a couple of pounds. However, I do caution that I have been doing all of this for a few months now, and I just barely lost about 4 pounds, so, really, these changes are not likely to result in rapid weight loss. They are likely to result in feeling generally healthier. I'd like to also add that this is not a regimen, but rather a list of ways I have incorporated healthier options into my already existing routine. Finally, none of these practices (except maybe #6 and 7) applies on the weekends. Little Melissa has to have her fun ;-).

I sincerely hope that some of this information might be helpful to anyone who is considering making some lifestyle changes. I know it can be daunting, but keep in mind that a small change can make a big difference when it snowballs, as small changes often do. Good luck!

Chef in Progress: My Very Own Homemade Chili

I have had an on-and-off love affair with cooking since I graduated from college, as I graduated from dorm room Food Network-voyeurism to actually making meals on occasion. My cooking endeavors really took off when I moved in with my then-boyfriend (now-husband) and I had an actual audience to impress. Most of my cooking has evolved from recipes learned from Food Network (Ina Garten and Tyler Florence are a couple of my favorites) and a couple of pseudo-recipes learned from my mom (who has no concept of measurements).

A couple of years ago, I decided that I REALLY like chili. I think I came to that realization, surprisingly, after eating it at BJ's (whose chili now kinda sucks, by the way). I had some basic knowledge of how to make soups and stews, so I figured I could apply that to developing my very own chili recipe. I am particularly fond of this recipe because it is the first (and maybe only) recipe that I developed completely on my own, from scratch. And because it's the best chili EVERRRRR! Since it's all mine, I am free to share it, so here it is!

Melissa'a Homemade Chili

Yields 4-6 servings
Prep Time: 45 minutes
Cook Time: 30-40 minutes

Ingredients
(Note: Seasoning measurements are approximations. It takes some trials to get it to taste exactly how you want it, but these are close approximations to what I use. Remember that part of the fun of cooking is adapting recipes to your liking!).

1 lb of ground turkey
1 medium onion, diced
1-2 jalapeños, diced
1 green bell pepper, diced
I tbsp flour
3 vine-ripened tomatoes, cut in half
2 1/2 tbsp tomato paste
2 cups cooked beans (any kind, I prefer black), rinsed and drained
1 12 oz bottle of beer (any as long as it's not too bitter)
Olive Oil
Cayenne Pepper, ground
Cumin
Paprika
Chili Powder
Salt 
Black pepper, ground

Steps:

1. Brown the ground turkey in two batches so as not crowd the pan (thanks for that tip, Food Network!), in about 1 tbsp of olive oil over medium heat. Sprinkle 1/4 tsp each of the cayenne, cumin, and paprika, 1/2 tsp of salt, and some pepper onto turkey before it browns, then begin to break up the turkey with a spatula. Set aside on a paper towel to drain excess oil.

The turkey has more room to brown nicely since I only added half at a time.

2. Add diced onion, jalapeño, and bell pepper to pot (Note: the amount of jalapeño depends on the desired level of heat. One jalapeño is mild; two is medium-hot). Let them cook for about 5-10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Colorful veggies.

Dicing onions. To do this, cut tip and root of onion off, cut in half lengthwise, lay half down flat, slice horizontally 2-3 times almost all the way through, slice vertically across width of onion, then cut vertically across the length of the onion. Voila, a perfectly diced onion within a couple of minutes!

Um, I was just strangely proud of my diced jalapeno and the shape into which I arranged the pieces. Make sure you remove the seeds and ribbing of the jalapeño, lest you choke in reaction to excessive heat (or am I a wimp?).

3. Create an opening in the center of the pot by pushing the vegetables to the sides of the pot. Add a tbsp of olive oil to the center, then a tbsp of flour to thicken the chili (I used to skip this step because I didn't want the added fat, but, for the 3 grams of fat it adds to each serving, it's totally worth it!). Stir the olive oil and flour into the vegetables, and allow to cook for 1-2 minutes.

The combination of oil (or any fat) and flour creates a paste that thickens any stew, soup, or sauce.

4. Add the tomatoes to the pot by crushing them over the pot, into the veggie/oil/flour mixture (the tomatoes should break up easily and you'll get both the liquid and solid elements of the tomato). Add 1/4 tsp of salt, some pepper, and a sprinkle each of cumin, paprika, and cayenne. Allow to cook and thicken for 1-2 minutes, then add tomato paste, stir in, and allow to cook for another 1-2 minutes.

No need to dice tomatoes, which I absolutely hate doing anyway. They should break up nicely in your hot little hands.

Base with tomato, before adding tomato paste.

5. Add browned turkey and beans. Stir the contents of the pot together so that the base completely coats the turkey and beans.

Homemade black beans--> gourmet for the poor. Recipe to come...

6. Add the beer until it barely covers the contents of the pot (it usually will be just shy of the entire bottle). Stir and bring to a boil. Then reduce to a simmer (medium-low heat), and add 1-2 tsp of salt (to taste), 1/2 tsp of ground pepper, 1 1/2 tsp each of cumin and paprika, 1/2 tsp of cayenne, and a tbsp of chili powder. Simmer uncovered for at least 30-40 minutes, stirring occasionally and tasting for seasoning. The chili should thicken to stew-like consistency.

Simmering away...

Bonus: Top with shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream for a real treat!

Making chili is a time-consuming endeavor, so it's a not a busy weeknight recipe; however, it's great to make ahead when you have some time on your hands, because you can store and reheat it, which sometimes actually makes it taste even better. Feel free to leave a comment or contact me if you have any questions :-). Happy cooking!

-Melissa

Two For My Body, One For My Mind

This weekend has been an uneven blend of fun and uneventfulness, adventurous new activity and sedentary inclinations.

Happy 3rd Anniversary!

Friday I STRAIGHT UP ditched class to celebrate my third wedding anniversary with the incomparable, oh-so-lovable Israel- and it was totally worth it because we had such a lovely day together. While we got off to a rough start (I had to skip my run because I woke up late and actually skipped class partly because I was running 45 MINUTES LATE for it), we quickly let that weekend-good feeling take over as we drove into LA. Walking around the Grove, taking in all the wonderful fashion and scenery and commercialism, always feels so divine to me. The only disappointment there was discovering that Topshop, a store I was really looking forward to visiting, is actually way overpriced. So overpriced that I returned the two small jewelry items I bought 10 minutes after purchasing them :'-(

My conversation with myself as I left Topshop:
Me: Dude, are you suffering from buyer's remorse or something?
Me: Oh, God, no, nothing like that!

But I was...I really was...

Window shopping at the Grove was followed by a succulent feast at Osteria Mozza, where the flavor of the food was surpassed only by the excellence of the service. Seriously, I have never in my life felt so welcome or taken care of at an establishment where I had to pay for my dinner. It was such a pleasant surprise for a last minute choice. I would highly recommend this place to anyone looking for a satisfying fine dining experience. After dinner was the highlight of the evening (though dinner almost stole the show!)- our first show at The Groundlings Theater! I was so excited to see sketch and improv comedy live, and this group did not disappoint. I was at once entertained by comedy and mesmerized by the courage these performers exhibit as they make themselves completely vulnerable to a small audience of strangers. I was also slightly distracted by the presence of Gus Van Sant, who was sitting directly across the aisle from Israel! Gotta love LA...

Tiny stage, tiny theater, huge talent. I want to be improv comedian when I grow up.

Return of the Couch Potato

Saturday morning, Israel took off early for soccer, as per usual, and I slept in (again, as per usual). Perhaps because it didn't occur to me to open the blinds until 5pm, I was in serious couch potato mode all day. I had decided previously that I was going to make up for my missed run on Friday by going on an extra long run on Saturday, and I woke up with that intention still firmly set- to be fulfilled after I watched a little Kardashians. Then I needed to catch up on some YouTube videos in my queue. Then I got hungry, and I couldn't very well run on an empty stomach, could I? Of course, I couldn't very well run on a full stomach either... This little charade continued until the last remaining hour of sunlight arrived, and by then Israel was driving home from LA and I really wanted to let him use our Spotify account, but I couldn't bear the thought of running without my carefully constructed workout playlist. The truth of the matter is, I felt so completely lethargic all day Saturday, but not even in a terribly bad way. My body just felt...loose, like it couldn't handle the thought of the constant back and forth muscle contraction involved in running. I did feel a sense of guilt when I realized that I wasn't going to run. After about half an hour of feeling that way, I decided that I was going to run on Sunday, and that I was not going to allow myself to think about or talk about running for the rest of the night. 

Two for My Body, One for My Mind

I didn't feel super enthused about running today, either. In fact, I almost pulled another fast one on myself and let the daylight creep by so that I would have an excuse to skip it. But, sometime in the early afternoon, the productive vibe kicked in, which led me to start studying for an exam I have coming up (on aphasia, the other topic that has me embroiled in a love-hate relationship), and that somehow motivated me to put on my running clothes and head out.

I was a little nervous because I had decided that today I would increase my run from two laps around my neighborhood to three for the first time. Adding another lap was slightly unnerving because my neighborhood is in the foothills of a mountain range, so it has hills and sustained inclines, and adding a lap means just having to face those one more time. But I knew I could do it, especially since I recently re-conceptualized that route as a set of intervals, with the hills/inclines being the hard intervals and the flat/descent portions being the rest ones. No more thought about time or distance- just intervals. 

As it turns out, taking those two guilt-inducing days off from running may have been a good thing, because my legs felt so rested today that adding that third lap added little exertion. On top of that, when I got home I mapped my run (just for funsies to see the distance that I ran) and what I thought was 4.8 miles was actually 5.1 miles; all this time I thought that a lap around my neighborhood was 1.6 miles, but it was 1.7! Woot woot! That means I've been underestimating both my time and distance all this time- not that I care about those things... ;-)

Ahem. Please note the surprise distance. Thank you.

I Am What I Am...

Saturday and Sunday served as a reminder that we are different things at different times, on different days. On Saturday I was a couch potato, but that doesn't mean that I am one every day. In fact, a simple survey of the past couple of months clearly reveals that on most days I am not a couch potato, but instead a runner, a student, a healthy chef and a healthy person. I readily accept the fact that I am a perfectionist and, as such, might have been harder on myself for my lazy Saturday than most others would, but my ability to dust myself off and move on quickly and without looking back (other than to write this blog post)- that is my noted progress for the week.

Thanks for reading!

-Melissa

SONG OF THE DAY: "Suit and Tie" by Justin Timberlake. Um, let me count the reasons. 

1. My unending love for JT

2. It's been stuck in my head all day.

3. I just added it to my running play list. Even Jay's rap solo couldn't slow me down!

"Stop 

Let me get a good look at it

Ooh, so thick

Now I know why they call it a fatty"

Sheer poetry...

You Can Say Never- But You Might Change Your Mind

Or be proven wrong. Last weekend, my friend Tara and I ran a 5k together. We considered it something of an inauguration to our half -marathon training season. It wasn't supposed to be an event for setting a record, but more to kick off the journey of training for a half-marathon together. I'm guessing that a lot of runners, athletes, and generally driven people originally go into a competition with that benign intention of just aiming for completion, but, once they see their bib, the crowd, the bevy of supporters, and hear that music, then that gunshot, the instinct to push comes in- and they can't, don't WANT to, push it out. That is pretty much what happened to me, and, I'm guessing, to Tara too, because we came to some unspoken agreement that we were gonna haul ass, and haul ass we did. I had no idea how fast I was traveling, but in the end I found out that my legs had done what I thought they were not capable of- got me across that finish line in 28 and a half minutes. It really is surprising what practice, determination, and having a supportive friend by your side can allow you to accomplish.

Perfect timing. We were practically holding hands as we crossed the finish line.

We registered for our half-marathon the night before the 5k, and that was exciting moment, because I was committing to something that I knew for sure that I really wanted to do. I've been running off and on for three years now, so it took me a while to come to this decision. I won't ramble on about my running journey, because I already did that here, but I will say that it has brought out a determination in me that I had only ever (occasionally) brought to school. I started out training for a 5k three years ago; 5 months ago I started toying with the idea of running a half-marathon, and one week ago, I committed to actually doing it. I kinda thought that I would be satisfied with that, but then came the LA Marathon.

Running a marathon was definitely something that I used to say "NEVER" to. So was running a 5k in under 30 minutes. I didn't change my mind about the 5k time- my body just proved me wrong. But that unexpected outcome opened my eyes a new realm of possibilities. I understand how hyperbolic that sounds, but I am not exaggerating. I've never surprised or impressed myself as much as I did last weekend, and it made me re-evaluate how well I know myself. Or, more likely, how much I've changed. The idea of running(/walking- let's be honest) 26.2 miles is daunting, scary, emotional, almost nausea-inducing- but it's something that I now genuinely believe I can do. It's something that I am seriously considering doing. It's something that would make me prouder than anything I've ever accomplished, because it is something that is going to be FREAKING HARD. And when I think about how meaningful and emotional it would be- because it's LA, the city that holds my family's history, the city where I fell in love and got married; because, three years ago, it happened to fall on my wedding day, its route passing by the park where my husband and I exchanged our vows; and because it will be 2014, the year that I turn 30, the year that I finish graduate school and begin my career- I know that it would be completely, 100% worth it.

Snoopy inadvertently became my symbol of determination and accomplishment. Don't underestimate the power of the Peanuts Gang.

P.S. Thank you to all of the runners in today's 2013 LA Marathon for being awesome and inspiring others, like me, to aspire to more than we thought was possible. 

Thanks for reading,

Melissa

SONG OF THE DAY: Katy Perry, "Firework." I like to think that I typically have at least mildly discerning taste in music, but, when it comes to getting me up that hill, you better get that elitism outta my face, because ain't no indie song getting my legs moving like Katy does. Every time this song comes on, I feel like I'm crossing the finish line at the Olympics, arms spread and everything.

"It's always been inside of you

And now it's time to let it through"

Things I Saw in the Over-25 Section at the Show

On Saturday night, Israel and I went to the Ty Segall show at the El Rey- and by "show" I mean the kind where the backstage area is basically non-existent and people are able to stage dive to their hearts' desire. As we entered the venue, it became apparent that Ty has a wide age-ranged fan base, with the lower margin being kids who looked too young to have acne and the upper margin looking like Mark Ruffalo.

At the El Rey, in case you haven't been there, the floor is divided so that there is a pit in the middle, right in front of the stage, and some raised platforms around the perimeter. After surveying our options, Israel and I quickly decided that we were too old and frail (Haha, jk! Just too old.) to handle the inevitable thrashing about that would take place in the pit, so we decided on the perimeter. We got there pretty early, so we were lucky enough to get spots right up against the barrier, so that we were just outside of and above the pit area. Being elevated above the crowd, I felt like a queen overlooking her subjects...- but only for a minute, because then I snapped out of it and started discussing the current fashions on display before us with Israel. I was particularly fixated on the revival of 90s fashion (if you saw my Facebook post, you already know that the hip LA kids are now neo-Cher Horowitzes), while Israel seemed especially fascinated by the endurance of the classics (Vans, Chucks, and flannel shirts still abounded).

The picture of the marquee that Israel posted on Facebook. Because, as we all know, if it's not on Facebook, it didn't happen. 

As we were talking, people had started to pile onto the platform behind us; when I turned around to lean my back against the barrier, in an attempt to get some respite from the pain caused by my ill-advised shoe choice, I saw them, right there in front of me, all around me- the over 25 crowd. They had all self-segregated, just like us, to the safety of elevation.

I believe that this show was the first all-ages show that I had been to in several years, so the division seemed quite stark to me. Not that the people in our section weren't hip. They were clearly the kind of people just like us, who, a few short years ago, would have been down there with the rest, throwing elbows and maybe even crowd surfing- why else would they choose to be at this kind of a show in their late 20s and 30s? But still, cool band T-shirts and fashionable thick-rimmed glasses aside, there was something different about this crowd. I was able to narrow it to a few things, so here is my short list of things I saw in the over-25 section at the show:

1. Combed hair.

2. Better-fitting and more expensive-looking outfits, some including fitted leather jackets and sateen-finish jeggings.

3. A girl (ok, lady) gingerly taking ear plugs out of a plastic case she had just removed from her purse.

4. Wedding bands.

5. A man (in the fashionable thick-rimmed eyeglasses) puffing on an electronic cigarette as he stared off into the distance.

6. Worried looks as kids stage-dived into what appeared to be open gaps in the crowd, devoid of any waiting hands (ok, maybe that one was just me...).

7. People eagerly singing along to the Misfits cover that the third opening act played (old punks, you know).

8. A lady wearing a T-shirt that said "Part-Time Punks" with a cardigan over it (a look that I really appreciate).

We still know how to have fun; we just do it in a more sensible way. And I had SO much fun, enjoying the music without risking any bruises, but also watching the ruckus beneath me, remembering how liberating it was to be down there and being happy that a new set is getting to experience it. As Israel said, "It's like the changing of the guard."

These old gals have seen a few mosh pits in their days. They're kind of gross, really. But, oh, how I love them <3 i="i">

Why Does My Hair Smell Like a Tropical Vacation?

Um, I don't know, maybe it's because I am wearing a coconut oil hair mask!

In my ongoing quest be a more well-put-together woman, I have recently been straightening my hair on a regular basis- this after years of laziness in response to the impossible thickness of my hair and the daunting nature of the task of straightening it. As far as beauty goes, my hair has easily been the most neglected area of my appearance until about a month ago. Because of the drastic change in my hair styling routine, I decided it was necessary to add some nourishing and intensive treatment to mitigate the additional damage of regular heat-styling.

My recent hairstyle. Worth the 45 minutes it takes to blow-dry it straight? The jury's still out...

I had heard about coconut oil hair masks for several months. And by heard, I mean that several people on YouTube mentioned it, described how to do it, but never demonstrated it. Being a visual learning, I needed a tutorial before I was about to try what sounded like a potential greasy mess. I also hesitated because, much like the oatmeal face-cleansing, I couldn't quite visualize how the process should go. Should I coat my hair root to tip? How much should I use? How would I get it out? Would I be eternally condemned to smell like a coconut?! Thankfully, one of my favorite YouTube gals, TheSilverLining80, finally answered my silent wishes and posted a tutorial showing exactly how the process works.

I tried it for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and from that experience I developed one tip that I can already give everyone: wash your hair thoroughly, including your tips! I neglected to this, ending up with tips that looked like they had been dipped in Crisco- but roots that looked like ebony silk (who compliments her own hair in such poetic terms? This girl! Ugh, what a douchebag I am :-P).

If you want to try a coconut hair mask as a natural, intensive treatment, you will need a spoon, comb, hair clip or ponytail holder, and, of course, the coconut oil. I found mine at Trader Joe's.

Trader Joe's Organic Virgin Coconut Oil ($5.99). I've also been using this as an eye cream lately (why not?) because it's so moisturizing. Make sure you get virgin coconut oil that is solid at room temperature. Smells so yummy!

As you can see, coconut oil is solid at cooler temperatures. I keep mine in the refrigerator, because I had heard that it would be easier to work with as a solid. I agree with this point, as removing liquid oil from a jar somehow seems like more work than I want to do. The solid state of coconut oil is the reason a spoon is needed; it is used a scoop to remove the coconut oil from the jar.

Here's how you use this mask:

1. Comb Through Your Hair

Since you're going to be running a product through your hair, it's best to eliminate any tangles to avoid pain and hair loss due to excessive pulling.

2. Section Off Hair

I do this from bottom to top, meaning that I start by sectioning the bottom fourth of my hair and tying the rest up. Then, as I finish coating each section in the oil, I bring down another section (consisting of about another fourth of my hair). This just makes it easier to ensure that I coat my hair thoroughly and evenly.

The bottom fourth of my hair sectioned off and coated in coconut oil. 

3. Apply the Oil

This is the fun part! I dip my spoon into the jar of oil and scoop a good spoonful out. It's actually more like scraping a spoonful out, because the consistency of the solid oil is more flaky than congealed (if that's the right juxtaposition...science geeks?). I drop the scoop from the spoon into my hand, because the warmth of my hand melts the oil, turning it into a liquid within a few seconds. As it liquifies, I rub the oil between my hands and start running it through my hair, from the roots to the tips. I like to take a little extra and rub it right into my tips for each section. Because my hair is thick and my brain is obsessive, each section takes me between 5-10 minutes to coat to my demanding satisfaction. Thoroughly coated hair should look wet.

The solid coconut oil in my hand. It melts within seconds.

My hair completely coated in the oil. This took me about half an hour, but I have very thick hair I am obsessively thorough with these things.  

Once my hair is coated, I put it up into a bun. As far as how long you should keep it in, I have heard times varying from 20 minutes to overnight. I leave mine in for about 4-6 hours, during the day while I am doing things around the house, because I am way too fitful of a sleeper to trust that a bandana or shower cap will stay in place overnight and protect my pillow from becoming Grease Central.

4. Wash the Oil Out

For my hair, it takes several washes to get all of it out. Last time, I shampooed my hair three times. As I mentioned before, I really focused on my roots; keep in mind that is important to focus on all of your hair. Once I was satisfied that I got all of the oil out, I followed with a regular conditioner. You can then style you hair as you usually would. I apply a straightening balm and blow-dry my hair straight with a round brush.

Here is what my hair looks like after washing the coconut oil mask out and straightening my hair. Unfortunately, this picture was also taken after pulling my hair back for a mini-facial, hence the slight hair dent :-(

That's it!

My hair definitely dries more smoothly after this mask, but, strangely, one of the more striking things I notice is that the color of my hair looks richer. This is a surprising, and pleasant, result. If anyone else has tried this, or does after reading this, I'd be interested to know about your experience, including whether it had any effect on your hair color. From my experience, the coconut oil mask doesn't completely transform my hair, but it does make it feel healthier and more hydrated. Plus, like so many of these natural, at-home treatments, it's just a lot of fun, so, why not?

Thanks for reading and hope this was informative!

-Melissa

POP CULTURE ARTIFACT OF THE DAY: NONE, because I spent my day reading about autism and neuroanatomy, in addition to smearing coconut oil in my hair and clay on face. Hopefully, your day was a little more eventful than mine...