Saving My Soul in My Car: The Power of Music

I have officially deviated from the initial purpose of my blog, which was to share lifestyle tips about health and beauty that I have learned through experience. But it doesn't really matter because the real reason I started this was because I know the purifying and stress-relieving effect that writing has on me. And along those same lines, I have recently rediscovered the other activity that releases that persistent tension from my jaw and eases the tightness in my chest from stress-induced irregular breathing (have I mentioned that I'm anxiety-prone?): singing.

You want proof that I love singing? Here is picture of me with my high school treble ensemble. The picture of us in our silver glittery dresses would have been more effective.
Location: Central Park, New York City, May 2002
Photo Credit: Kristie Chavez, Facebook

I am going to say something that is cheesy and a cliche but is true: I have loved to sing since before I could remember. I have never been formally trained, nor is my voice particularly strong, and I have a hard time finding my key when I don't have a cue, but none of that matters, because when I sing, I let it all out. And by "it," I mean the stress, the sadness, the anger, the joy, the love, the nerves, and the excitement that I always carry with me.

Recently, I saw Fiona Apple- one of my idols, my tortured, ferocious, and gentle kindred spirit- in concert. Allow me to digress, because if you only know Fiona Apple as that angry girl singer from the 90s that told the world off in her VMA acceptance speech, I can only say that you are missing out. Because the woman can write, she can sing, and she can pound the you-know-what out of that piano. Her words, her voice, and her melodies carried me through one of the most difficult times in my life. I sang along to her music the same way I used to sing along to Mariah Carey in my bedroom when I was 10 years old- with abandon. Except by the time I got around to Fiona, I had lived enough to relate to the emotions behind the music, and I'm not gonna lie- I cried a lot of tears singing along to Fiona Apple.

The cover of the album that first broke me apart and then made me feel whole again. Thank you, Fiona; your words mean more than you could ever know.
Source: http://www.1000recordings.com/music/when-pawn/

I am happy to say that my life is much more peaceful now than it was at that tumultuous time, but, being an incredibly sensitive person, I carry remnants of all of my major life experiences with me. I don't know, does everyone? Anyway, I feel like those emotions are useful because they make me a more empathic and accommodating person; at the same time, I think that they weigh on me subconsciously, and I only developed this hypothesis because of the intense relief I feel after singing.

Until that Fiona Apple concert, it had been a while since I had let myself feel that connection to music. I don't know, I guess life gets in the way; sometimes I don't have much alone time, sometimes I want to listen to the news, and sometimes it is just overwhelming to decide what I want to listen to. I've always had this wavelike relationship with music, with peaks and valleys of music consumption, and at every peak I make a promise to myself that I won't let music fall by the wayside again. Now that the promise is in print, I hope I can keep it.

Even though this isn't a post about tips for looking better or being more fit, in reality it is a post about health, because emotional health is really the foundation of a healthy and balanced life. When I am feeling emotionally healthy, I find myself making more choices that benefit my physical health, too. I sincerely hope that every person who reads this and every other person out there has some kind of emotional outlet like singing is for me, because I feel like it is a human necessity to just let it all out. Regularly. So, when you see that crazy-looking girl driving on the freeway who seems really fulfilled to be screaming at her steering wheel, first of all it's probably me, and second, be happy for her, because she might just be doing a little bit of soul-saving.

Thanks for reading :-)

-Melissa


SONG OF THE PAST TWO WEEKS: Regina Spektor "Don't Leave Me (Ne Me Quitte Pas)," What We Saw From the Cheap Seats. I absolutely defy you to not be in a good mood while listening to this song. It's just bubble-gummy giddiness in the most quirky sort of way. Plus, it seems to be some kind of  a love song to my love, New York City. I have been listening to this song obsessively and have happily explored more of Regina's music because of it.

Down in Bronxy-Bronx the kids go

sledding down snow-covered slopes
And frozen noses, frozen toes
The frozen city starts to glow
And yes, they know that it'll melt
And yes, the know New York will thaw
But if you are a friend of any sort
then play along and catch a cold!