I hate the skipped run. When I've gotten into a flow and running schedule, nothing makes me feel less in control than skipping a run. If you'll indulge me in a little amateur cognitive-behavioral therapy, what follows is my thought-emotion process:
Thought: I could have run, but I didn't. I should have pushed myself harder.
Feelings: Shame; disappointment
Thought: If I wasn't able to make myself run today, I might not be able to make myself run tomorrow
Feelings: Fear; anxiety
Thought: Because I didn't run today, I may fall out of the routine. Missing runs makes me forget how good running feels.
Feeling: Fear; sadness
As you can see, there are so many negative feelings involved with skipping a run that one could easily wonder why I allow it to happen. It's probably worth forcing myself to slog through three miles half asleep and risking getting run over by a car just to avoid feeling like the scum of the earth for skipping it.
I was supposed to run yesterday. I was coming off an exhilarating run on Saturday and an increased mileage run on Monday. I had just bought some new shorts at Lulu Lemon that prevent the dreaded ride-up experienced when your body was not made for the thigh-gap. All signs pointed to Wednesday Run. But then I had a 12-hour day on 6 hours of sleep, followed by 2 more hours of work in the evening that kept me up until 11pm. I almost hesitated to type that because I know for every lazy bum like me (read: shame) there is a superhuman who would have run anyway (read: envy). But, ultimately, I was able to be understanding and compassionate enough towards myself to process my skipped run without too much of the negativity outlined above, largely because I told myself I would definitely run today (Thursday).
My initial plan was to wake up early and run, but when I stayed up significantly past my bedtime after an already tiring, sleep-deprived day, I quickly realized that would not happen. So plan B was just run in the afternoon or evening, like I would have yesterday. This is the part where the fear and anxiety kick in, because I wasn't able to make myself do that. I didn't have the same valid reasons I had yesterday. I know I felt exhausted during my last leg of work in the late afternoon, but I didn't feel like I had a good reason to. I had a regular day at work, closer to acceptable amount of sleep for a working adult...so why did I feel like I'd had 3 drinks when I was talking my client through his oral-motor exercises? It didn't help that my stomach was growling due to an inordinately early lunch. I wanted nothing more than to eat and sleep. Recently I had become the master of the 20 minute nap, or so I thought. One meal, half an hour of phone time to allow the food to digest, and what turned out to be an hour-long nap later, it was almost dark outside and I was still groggy. It was a do-or-lament moment- run or skip. I lamented; I skipped it.
Because I am who I am, I spent 20-30 minuted in bed, experiencing the thoughts and feelings mentioned above, as I am prone to do when I feel like I have failed. I've reached a point in my life where I want to feel my feelings- to not try to push away the negative, but experience and explore it, and, for god's sake, not intellectualize it too much. I want to say that allowing myself to experience this allowed me to move from the vague sensation of feeling bad to the identifying the more specific, and troubling, feelings of scared and anxious. My struggles with anxiety have been all too real, and I didn't want running, an activity I resumed to combat anxiety, to be a source of it. Cue the snowball that is anxiety.
I wanted to write about this because I believe that the struggle of using exercise to promote mental health is, as they say, real. For those of us who are not naturally balls of energy, who did not grow up playing sports, who found exercise later in life as a source of meditation, escape, or self-worth, I think that the relationship with exercise is always precarious. I just came off what was essentially a 2 year break from running, and I think that rarely a day went by that I didn't think about it- that I didn't wish I had the wherewithal to just do it, rain or shine, morning or night, like I had done in the past. Talk about anxiety; I was genuinely afraid that I had lost running for the rest of my life. Just a month and a half ago I finally got my act together, laced up my shoes, and hit the pavement, and I kept doing it consistently until today. I'd made a commitment to myself. That commitment was tied to my sense of self-worth. That commitment gave me regular opportunities to meditate. It allowed me to escape from being the couch potato that I still, deep down, see myself as.
Thought: So how dare I break that commitment to myself?
Feeling: Anger
The question is, then, how do you deal with a situation that makes you feel shame, disappointment, fear, anxiety, sadness, and anger? Do you question whether the situation warrants those feelings?
Question: Does skipping one run warrant feeling shameful, disappointed, scared, anxious, sad, and angry?
Answer: No
Where does that get me? I still feel what I feel. But it's not the situation. It's my thoughts. What if these were my thoughts?
Thought: I was so exhausted today, I could barely stay awake.
Feeling: Compassion
Thought: I will run tomorrow.
Feeling: Hope, optimism
Thought: Running makes me feel good
Feelings: Appreciation, anticipation
Wouldn't that be nice? But the issue it comes down to is trust. I don't trust myself when I think those positive thoughts. I don't trust myself that I was really that tired. I don't trust that I will run tomorrow. I don't trust that I will think about how good running feels. Compassion, hope, optimism, appreciation, and anticipation have let me down too many times in my life.
All of this, here, is the struggle of the relationship between exercise and mental health. It's why exercise can't cure mental health issues. Exercise, as an act, doesn't make you trust and love yourself. More accurately, it, along with other acts of self-care, is a reflection of the process of learning to trust and love yourself, and, in that sense, it may be as inconsistent as those feelings are. The complexity of my relationship with running is that is both a cause and effect of my self-worth.
That's a lot of weight to put on my poor legs.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Lazy Saturday for a Lazy Person
I really crave a lazy day. As an introvert, I find being around people a bit tiring. I have my handful of people whose company actually energizes me, but, the students and coworkers I am around on a daily basis are not those people. It's no offense to anyone- it says more about my difficulty finding a genuine, comfortable connection with others than it says about anyone else's character.
Today was a lazy day. I decided it had to be, because tomorrow is Mother's Day, which brings with it a host of family obligations, and, though I love them dearly, I count my family as a group of people whose company I enjoy, but also find exhausting. So, today was couch potato day.
Couch potato day always sounds so nice, in theory. I always picture myself enjoying my cup of coffee, with my dog nestled in my lap and a book in my hand, then setting time aside for a run to segue into a more productive afternoon.
It rarely seems to work out that way, because I am a lazy person. Allow me to define lazy. I do not possess the type of laziness that allows for no productivity. Mine is the kind of laziness that leads to procrastination, which leads to stress and frustration about not being able to complete all of the tasks I wanted to complete, which leads to feeling a bit of resentment about my day.
When I finally got out for my run, it was about 2 pm. That means I spent 5 hours doing pretty much nothing. I was on my phone. I had Friends on in the background. At around 12:30 I peeled myself off the couch to put away and wash some dishes. I never feel good about that kind of day. It doesn't live up to my idyllic expectation of what a lazy day should feel like. The good thing is that, when I get that nagging feeling of general negativity, I now listen to and explore it.
One thing I was reminded of is what a waste of attention and energy phones can be for me. YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram- they're all forums for neglecting my own life to watch others live theirs. When I get out of the daze that being glued to these apps causes, I become aware of exactly what I've done with my time. I see myself as my dog or the fly on the wall sees me, and I don't like it. When I make that realization, it's pretty freakin' easy to put the phone down. Only problem was, by the time I did it today, I already felt pretty drained.
I tried to explore why I felt drained. Was I sleepy? Did I need a nap? Had I sent myself into a mild depression? I tried to grapple with this, but a Season 10 episode of Friends that I have seen quite literally at least 20 times (Part 2 of The One in Barbados, in case anyone was wondering) was blaring in the background. So I did the second best thing so far today, after putting down my phone- I muted the TV (for whatever reason, I always have a hard time completely turning it off- childhood issues). Suddenly, I was able to clearly hear the voice in my head that was telling me that I needed to connect to my body and my surroundings, that hours of TV and phone time had made me completely unaware that I had disconnected. That voice isn't too loud, or obnoxious and, once it said what it needed to say, it stopped, and I was able to appreciate the sounds of the birds chirping, dogs barking, and cars driving past- the sounds of home. Then I was able to feel the softness of the couch under my body, and my dog laying at my feet- the feel of home. Then, I was able to look out the window at the green trees, slightly gray sky, mountains in the distance behind the row of houses and apartments across the street- the sights of home. And then, I was able to just be at home. That's what a lazy day is about.
Next time I have a lazy day- which won't be too far off, as this introvert needs lots of them- there will be some TV and phone time, but not before some time for reading, meditation, and exercise. Re-energizing, as it turns out, is much less about disconnecting and much more about just connecting.
Today was a lazy day. I decided it had to be, because tomorrow is Mother's Day, which brings with it a host of family obligations, and, though I love them dearly, I count my family as a group of people whose company I enjoy, but also find exhausting. So, today was couch potato day.
Couch potato day always sounds so nice, in theory. I always picture myself enjoying my cup of coffee, with my dog nestled in my lap and a book in my hand, then setting time aside for a run to segue into a more productive afternoon.
It rarely seems to work out that way, because I am a lazy person. Allow me to define lazy. I do not possess the type of laziness that allows for no productivity. Mine is the kind of laziness that leads to procrastination, which leads to stress and frustration about not being able to complete all of the tasks I wanted to complete, which leads to feeling a bit of resentment about my day.
When I finally got out for my run, it was about 2 pm. That means I spent 5 hours doing pretty much nothing. I was on my phone. I had Friends on in the background. At around 12:30 I peeled myself off the couch to put away and wash some dishes. I never feel good about that kind of day. It doesn't live up to my idyllic expectation of what a lazy day should feel like. The good thing is that, when I get that nagging feeling of general negativity, I now listen to and explore it.
One thing I was reminded of is what a waste of attention and energy phones can be for me. YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram- they're all forums for neglecting my own life to watch others live theirs. When I get out of the daze that being glued to these apps causes, I become aware of exactly what I've done with my time. I see myself as my dog or the fly on the wall sees me, and I don't like it. When I make that realization, it's pretty freakin' easy to put the phone down. Only problem was, by the time I did it today, I already felt pretty drained.
I tried to explore why I felt drained. Was I sleepy? Did I need a nap? Had I sent myself into a mild depression? I tried to grapple with this, but a Season 10 episode of Friends that I have seen quite literally at least 20 times (Part 2 of The One in Barbados, in case anyone was wondering) was blaring in the background. So I did the second best thing so far today, after putting down my phone- I muted the TV (for whatever reason, I always have a hard time completely turning it off- childhood issues). Suddenly, I was able to clearly hear the voice in my head that was telling me that I needed to connect to my body and my surroundings, that hours of TV and phone time had made me completely unaware that I had disconnected. That voice isn't too loud, or obnoxious and, once it said what it needed to say, it stopped, and I was able to appreciate the sounds of the birds chirping, dogs barking, and cars driving past- the sounds of home. Then I was able to feel the softness of the couch under my body, and my dog laying at my feet- the feel of home. Then, I was able to look out the window at the green trees, slightly gray sky, mountains in the distance behind the row of houses and apartments across the street- the sights of home. And then, I was able to just be at home. That's what a lazy day is about.
Next time I have a lazy day- which won't be too far off, as this introvert needs lots of them- there will be some TV and phone time, but not before some time for reading, meditation, and exercise. Re-energizing, as it turns out, is much less about disconnecting and much more about just connecting.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Challenge Accepted- April 2016
It's been a while. Not to state the obvious or anything. My last post was over 2 years ago. Why? Because when you're not living up to the title of your blog, you kinda feel like a fraud posting on it.
I may be treating myself a bit harshly. It's not like I haven't been doing anything productive for the past 2 years. I finished graduate school. Got a master's degree. That's cool. I started working full-time for the first time in almost 4 years. And, importantly, was reminded what an energy-sucking ordeal working 40 hours a week is.
Of course, it's not actually all bad. Working full time has allowed us to move to a home and a location that we much prefer over where we previously lived. I'm getting to make a decent living doing something that I (mostly) like, so that's a fortunate situation. I'm also commuting an hour to and from work, which, for the past 2 years, has made my health take a seat in the back...way back.
After my last half marathon in May 2014, I pretty much stopped running. I had already pretty stopped paying attention to what I ate, using my "extensive" running as an excuse, despite the fact that I did virtually no training for the last half marathon. Again, I am being pretty hard on myself. I was in the middle of comprehensive exams and the fact that I had the mental energy (if not the best level of fitness) to complete a third half marathon still astounds me to this day.
Adjusting to working full time and commuting was hard. Sometimes it felt unfair. Unfair that I had to commit so much of my time to something so external, to making a living, to giving myself to others. More unfair that that the time and energy spent on that left me too drained to even think about health and fitness, let alone take any action. Thanks goodness I have friends who are mature enough to maintain these interests while living actual adult lives- they kept me in the game, if only minimally. A short run here, a hike or bike ride there. But the part that I had to take charge of, the part that required dedication and consistency, just wasn't coming.
I don't know what exactly hit me the first weekend of April. I can't romanticize it; it wasn't a bolt of lightning, an angel's whisper, or any kind of tragedy. I had recently recovered from a bad 6 month bout with anxiety (which maybe I will go into later) and just realized that nothing was stopping me. I was spending 2 hours a night on my phone and watching TV. Perhaps I can attribute it to a recent attempt to live more mindfully that I realized that some of that time could be used more wisely. And I was missing running. I always miss running. There have been times when I already ran that day and I see someone running and wish that I were him or her. Anyone who runs knows the euphoria that you feel when you're done; anyone who uses running as self-medication for anxiety knows that it is the ultimate meditative, mind-body connecting exercise.
So, I decided to go for it, and I did. I decided I was going to run 4 times a week again, and build up my endurance. I faced obstacles. I caught a cold the second week in, which I am still battling. I went to Vegas the third week, which, as you can imagine, presented quite the challenge to a running schedule that included runs on Fridays and Saturdays. Being a perfectionist, I wish I could say that I ran four times all four weeks. I didn't. But I always ran at least 3, and the weeks I didn't run 4 weren't simply because I didn't feel like it, but because the level of impracticality of running seemed to exceed the potential benefit. Had I been training for a race, it might have been different. I did have the luxury to cut myself a little slack.
Another small challenge I completed was giving up sweets. In recent months, I had found myself gravitating towards them on a daily basis. I've had friends somewhat incredulously ask me "Really? Everyday?" Yes, my non-sugar addicted friends, everyday. Multiple times a day. I believed it was becoming an addiction and it needed to stop yesterday. With that challenge, I was incredibly successful. Don't know why it was so easy. Maybe I used the word "addict" too loosely.
Now, here I am, on the first day of May. I continue to feel motivated to run, and have decided to add the challenge of eating clean and reducing portions this month. With me, the caveat when it comes to food is always weekends. Weekends are a social time and, for me, enjoying food is a social activity, and I can't restrict such an important source of happiness from my life. But on the day to day, when food is fuel to get through work and running, using food for happiness is dangerous. So, this month, I will have to look inside and outside myself to find other sources of joy in my daily life. When I think about the life I am lucky enough to lead, I realize that it shouldn't be hard.
The final missing piece, of course, is writing. This blog has been such a source of introspection and reflection for me, so, while I can't commit since I'll already have my emotional plate full with portion control (reverse pun so intended), I hope that I will be able to jump on here more often to document this whole journey. The title of my blog came from the realization that I am never going to be perfect, I am never going to achieve everything that I seek, and that everyday is an opportunity just treat myself well and experience the emotions that make life worth living.
Thanks for reading,
Melissa
I may be treating myself a bit harshly. It's not like I haven't been doing anything productive for the past 2 years. I finished graduate school. Got a master's degree. That's cool. I started working full-time for the first time in almost 4 years. And, importantly, was reminded what an energy-sucking ordeal working 40 hours a week is.
Of course, it's not actually all bad. Working full time has allowed us to move to a home and a location that we much prefer over where we previously lived. I'm getting to make a decent living doing something that I (mostly) like, so that's a fortunate situation. I'm also commuting an hour to and from work, which, for the past 2 years, has made my health take a seat in the back...way back.
After my last half marathon in May 2014, I pretty much stopped running. I had already pretty stopped paying attention to what I ate, using my "extensive" running as an excuse, despite the fact that I did virtually no training for the last half marathon. Again, I am being pretty hard on myself. I was in the middle of comprehensive exams and the fact that I had the mental energy (if not the best level of fitness) to complete a third half marathon still astounds me to this day.
Adjusting to working full time and commuting was hard. Sometimes it felt unfair. Unfair that I had to commit so much of my time to something so external, to making a living, to giving myself to others. More unfair that that the time and energy spent on that left me too drained to even think about health and fitness, let alone take any action. Thanks goodness I have friends who are mature enough to maintain these interests while living actual adult lives- they kept me in the game, if only minimally. A short run here, a hike or bike ride there. But the part that I had to take charge of, the part that required dedication and consistency, just wasn't coming.
I don't know what exactly hit me the first weekend of April. I can't romanticize it; it wasn't a bolt of lightning, an angel's whisper, or any kind of tragedy. I had recently recovered from a bad 6 month bout with anxiety (which maybe I will go into later) and just realized that nothing was stopping me. I was spending 2 hours a night on my phone and watching TV. Perhaps I can attribute it to a recent attempt to live more mindfully that I realized that some of that time could be used more wisely. And I was missing running. I always miss running. There have been times when I already ran that day and I see someone running and wish that I were him or her. Anyone who runs knows the euphoria that you feel when you're done; anyone who uses running as self-medication for anxiety knows that it is the ultimate meditative, mind-body connecting exercise.
So, I decided to go for it, and I did. I decided I was going to run 4 times a week again, and build up my endurance. I faced obstacles. I caught a cold the second week in, which I am still battling. I went to Vegas the third week, which, as you can imagine, presented quite the challenge to a running schedule that included runs on Fridays and Saturdays. Being a perfectionist, I wish I could say that I ran four times all four weeks. I didn't. But I always ran at least 3, and the weeks I didn't run 4 weren't simply because I didn't feel like it, but because the level of impracticality of running seemed to exceed the potential benefit. Had I been training for a race, it might have been different. I did have the luxury to cut myself a little slack.
Another small challenge I completed was giving up sweets. In recent months, I had found myself gravitating towards them on a daily basis. I've had friends somewhat incredulously ask me "Really? Everyday?" Yes, my non-sugar addicted friends, everyday. Multiple times a day. I believed it was becoming an addiction and it needed to stop yesterday. With that challenge, I was incredibly successful. Don't know why it was so easy. Maybe I used the word "addict" too loosely.
Now, here I am, on the first day of May. I continue to feel motivated to run, and have decided to add the challenge of eating clean and reducing portions this month. With me, the caveat when it comes to food is always weekends. Weekends are a social time and, for me, enjoying food is a social activity, and I can't restrict such an important source of happiness from my life. But on the day to day, when food is fuel to get through work and running, using food for happiness is dangerous. So, this month, I will have to look inside and outside myself to find other sources of joy in my daily life. When I think about the life I am lucky enough to lead, I realize that it shouldn't be hard.
The final missing piece, of course, is writing. This blog has been such a source of introspection and reflection for me, so, while I can't commit since I'll already have my emotional plate full with portion control (reverse pun so intended), I hope that I will be able to jump on here more often to document this whole journey. The title of my blog came from the realization that I am never going to be perfect, I am never going to achieve everything that I seek, and that everyday is an opportunity just treat myself well and experience the emotions that make life worth living.
Thanks for reading,
Melissa
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Falling Off the Wagon...
So it seems that I have not given my blog a second thought in many months. I just realized that I never published a post I wrote back in August, so I just published it without even giving it a glance-over to make sure there weren't any embarrassing typos or over-shares (*cringe*). I suppose I'm not as high-maintenance about my blog as I once was.
Those closest to me know that I have neglected my blog for good reason. As it turns out, the final year of grad school is a real killer. On paper, my schedule didn't look too bad last semester- a lecture, an on-campus diagnostic clinic, and my school practicum. And then of course about 10 hours a week of work. I didn't account for the fact that my school practicum plus work alone would add up to about a full-time job, and that, combined with driving an hour each way twice a week for lecture and clinic, with coursework for both those classes added on top for good measure, was just…wow. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the week off I got before I had to first go back to work, then to my medical externship, then to my last course and studying for my comprehensive exams. So…yeah…pressure's been on and I have been off ( my blog, that is).
I actually have time to write this now because I am not currently training for a half-marathon as I was the last time I wrote (though I do have one coming up for which I am entirely unprepared), nor am I any longer studying for comps, as I already gave those bad boys the boot a couple of weeks ago. Just as my obligations tapered on (and on, and on) they are now tapering off- in what feels like a very slow manner, but off they taper nonetheless. I see the light of summer, of freedom, and of finally working for pay at the end of the unknowably long tunnel that is grad school.
Now, in addition to neglecting my blog, I have also, unfortunately, been neglecting my body. I'm sure that subconsciously part of the reason I haven't posted is because I am not in a position to advise anyone on healthy choices or a healthy lifestyle at this point in my life. Because I went straight from half-marathon training mode to super-stressed-and-busy mode, I never transitioned back into eating the amount that a normal human eats, nor have I really been running to justify satisfying my superhuman appetite. I am an unabashed stress-eater; I look forward to cumulative hour a day that I spend enjoying the consumption of food, because it comforts me and usually distracts me from the million things going through my head. Running does that too, but running requires energy, and eating does not, so guess which I choose when I get home at 7:30 after an 11-hour day? Griping over.
The good news is that now I have a schedule with actual pockets in which I can run. I haven't taken advantage of it yet, but I did at least put my running clothes on today, so that's something. I've been on and off the running wagon enough to know that those first few runs are the hardest, and what helps motivate me is knowing that I am going to be able to set aside time on a regular basis to run. At this point, I don't have a choice, as I am running another half marathon in about a month. You'd think this would have lit a fire under my ass today, but watching Legally Blonde on MTV and eating a Sharky's fajita bowl was enough to keep my ass nice and cool. The other thing I have learned in my few years of running, though, is that every day is new day, and you always have to be open to the possibility that today may be the day when "it" clicks- when you find your rhythm again and re-commit yourself to the run. Today wasn't that day, but tomorrow might be. After Pancake Sunday Brunch of course…
Hope this finds all who read it well :-)
-Melissa
P.S. Here's a picture of Jax, my little man, who never fails to make me smile (and has made me smile a lot in the past 8 months).
 |
| You light up my life, little buddy. |
The Story So Far: Climbing to 13.1
So I guess I never posted this about 8 months ago...
I really need to start blogging immediately after a good run. Some people say that running clears their heads, but for me it unleashes a flood of realizations- and really well-worded ones, at that. Of course, a half-hour later I can't remember them (at least not in the poetic form in which I originally conceived them). I will try, however, to incorporate what thoughts remain from my euphoric state into this update on my half-marathon training.
First of all, it (half-marathon training, that is) is in full-swing. After getting off to a slow start in late June , I realized in mid-July that I needed an established training schedule to which I could hold myself accountable. A true goodie-two-shoes, I work best when other people are telling me what to do. So I decided to follow Hal Higdon's Novice 2 half-marathon training program, with some adjustments since my training(/psychoanalyzing/epiphany-having) partner, Tara, created her own schedule to accommodate her more varied fitness interests. Since adopting that schedule, I think I have only skipped one run (as opposed to skipping one or two runs per week when I thought I was a bad-ass and could "run when I felt like it").
On the weekends, Tara and I have been getting together for our long runs whenever possible. We decided that we wanted to make those runs fun experiences. So far we have run at a lovely park with trails that loop around a lake and the Back Bay Trail in Newport Beach (followed by kayaking, after which I consumed about a gazillion calories guilt free!!). We've been trying a run-walk approach, something that was difficult for me to consider at first, but makes the runs so much more enjoyable and really doesn't slow me down because I can run harder during the run intervals. The key is to set intervals in advance and take the breaks even if you feel like you don't need them; this prevents you from "hitting the wall" and reserves enough energy to really push, and even skip your breaks if you want, at the end of the race.
Last weekend I skipped my long run in favor of running a 5k in my hometown. There was a 5k on my training schedule for next weekend, but I figured it wouldn't be a big deal to move it up a week; this was especially appealing because 1) It meant visiting my hometown and seeing my adopted Tehachapi family, the Schwartzes, on Mountain Festival weekend, the most lively weekend a tiny mountain community can sustain, and 2) Instead of having to leave with over an hour of extra time to accommodate the nightmarish parking situation borne out of 5,000 people trying arrive at the same place at the same time for a race in LA, I got to park literally across the street from the starting line and run familiar streets with less than 200 other runners.
I've been running fairly consistently for about 7 months, and it's been paying off. Though I'm still no elite runner, I am certainly running faster than I ever have. Starting with my 5k back in March, I have been slowly but consistently gaining speed. However, going into last Saturday's race, that 5k was still my PR, and I really didn't anticipate that I would break it, partly because of the elevation (over a 4,000 foot difference), partly because I was running alone, and partly because I'm always afraid when I've been running a lot that I'll suffer from fatigue and be slowed down. Well, none of those things ended up making a difference- I shattered my PR by a minute and a half! As a side-note, I like to imagine how this sounds to non-runners (having been one in the not-so-distanct past). A minute and a half doesn't seem like anything significant, but for a short distance like a 5k (3.1 miles) it means shaving 30 seconds off of each mile, which is no easy feat (no pun intended?).
I have kind of been reliving the experience of last weekend's 5k over and over in my head. It was emotionally and psychologically significant because it was my first time doing something that for me has been life-changingly important, running, in my hometown. I ran by old junior high and high school, up the street where I used to go to church with a childhood friend, past the little 4-room movie theater I used to hang out at when I was a kid and the Veteran's Hall where I got my driver's license when the DMV came out to Tehachapi once a week, and finally to City Park, the heart of Tehachapi as I remember it, where I spent countless hours of my childhood meandering to stands at the Mountain Festival, playing on the playground, and running around on the gazebo.
At the moment that I hit the proverbial wall (the point at which you want to just stop and be able to breathe like a normal person and not be in incredible discomfort, and you have to summon every ounce of mental and physical strength to push forward), I was running toward my old junior high school. It was literally looming directly in front of me. I wanted to slow down, really slow down, but then I thought about being in P.E. at that school, when I would have just given and walked; in fact, I probably wouldn't have started running to begin with. I thought about how I had this mental handicap back then that made me think that I couldn't run, couldn't be fit, and how I looked at the athletic girls in my class and secretly wished I could be more like them. And I kept running. I put my head down, began a chorus of "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa in my head, and I rounded that corner right in front of my old junior high.
And then I kept going. Rounded another corner and saw the finish line with it's flashing timer. I was not happy with what I saw. Hard as I had pushed myself, that timer was telling me I was already two and a half minutes behind my PR. It would've been enough to make me give up, except my blessed memory stepped in to say that, no, that wasn't my time, because the race organizers had staggered the 5k and 10k runners by five minutes, meaning that my time was actually two and a half minutes faster than my PR. That was all it took. Salt-N-Pepa kept pushin' it in my head and I kept pushin' it with my legs for a minute that felt like an eternity, and I crossed that finish line with a new record. I placed second in my age group, which was not the most significant accomplishment given how small the race was and the huge gap between the first place finisher's time and mine (which would have easily been filled by my friend Audra if she wasn't 9 months pregnant!). Still, it was nice to be recognized for an athletic accomplishment at the awards ceremony, a novelty only a small town race could provide.
So that's it- the story so far. I still have the longest runs I have ever completed and a 10k ahead of me, but if the rest of the journey is a lot like what it's been so far, then it'll be bittersweet when it's over. Thanks for reading :-)
-Melissa
I really need to start blogging immediately after a good run. Some people say that running clears their heads, but for me it unleashes a flood of realizations- and really well-worded ones, at that. Of course, a half-hour later I can't remember them (at least not in the poetic form in which I originally conceived them). I will try, however, to incorporate what thoughts remain from my euphoric state into this update on my half-marathon training.
First of all, it (half-marathon training, that is) is in full-swing. After getting off to a slow start in late June , I realized in mid-July that I needed an established training schedule to which I could hold myself accountable. A true goodie-two-shoes, I work best when other people are telling me what to do. So I decided to follow Hal Higdon's Novice 2 half-marathon training program, with some adjustments since my training(/psychoanalyzing/epiphany-having) partner, Tara, created her own schedule to accommodate her more varied fitness interests. Since adopting that schedule, I think I have only skipped one run (as opposed to skipping one or two runs per week when I thought I was a bad-ass and could "run when I felt like it").
 |
| I am following this training program for my weekly runs. My running partner and I modified the long runs a bit. As long as you have a basic plan, you can make small modifications here and there if it'll help you stick to the plan. |
On the weekends, Tara and I have been getting together for our long runs whenever possible. We decided that we wanted to make those runs fun experiences. So far we have run at a lovely park with trails that loop around a lake and the Back Bay Trail in Newport Beach (followed by kayaking, after which I consumed about a gazillion calories guilt free!!). We've been trying a run-walk approach, something that was difficult for me to consider at first, but makes the runs so much more enjoyable and really doesn't slow me down because I can run harder during the run intervals. The key is to set intervals in advance and take the breaks even if you feel like you don't need them; this prevents you from "hitting the wall" and reserves enough energy to really push, and even skip your breaks if you want, at the end of the race.
Last weekend I skipped my long run in favor of running a 5k in my hometown. There was a 5k on my training schedule for next weekend, but I figured it wouldn't be a big deal to move it up a week; this was especially appealing because 1) It meant visiting my hometown and seeing my adopted Tehachapi family, the Schwartzes, on Mountain Festival weekend, the most lively weekend a tiny mountain community can sustain, and 2) Instead of having to leave with over an hour of extra time to accommodate the nightmarish parking situation borne out of 5,000 people trying arrive at the same place at the same time for a race in LA, I got to park literally across the street from the starting line and run familiar streets with less than 200 other runners.
I've been running fairly consistently for about 7 months, and it's been paying off. Though I'm still no elite runner, I am certainly running faster than I ever have. Starting with my 5k back in March, I have been slowly but consistently gaining speed. However, going into last Saturday's race, that 5k was still my PR, and I really didn't anticipate that I would break it, partly because of the elevation (over a 4,000 foot difference), partly because I was running alone, and partly because I'm always afraid when I've been running a lot that I'll suffer from fatigue and be slowed down. Well, none of those things ended up making a difference- I shattered my PR by a minute and a half! As a side-note, I like to imagine how this sounds to non-runners (having been one in the not-so-distanct past). A minute and a half doesn't seem like anything significant, but for a short distance like a 5k (3.1 miles) it means shaving 30 seconds off of each mile, which is no easy feat (no pun intended?).
I have kind of been reliving the experience of last weekend's 5k over and over in my head. It was emotionally and psychologically significant because it was my first time doing something that for me has been life-changingly important, running, in my hometown. I ran by old junior high and high school, up the street where I used to go to church with a childhood friend, past the little 4-room movie theater I used to hang out at when I was a kid and the Veteran's Hall where I got my driver's license when the DMV came out to Tehachapi once a week, and finally to City Park, the heart of Tehachapi as I remember it, where I spent countless hours of my childhood meandering to stands at the Mountain Festival, playing on the playground, and running around on the gazebo.
At the moment that I hit the proverbial wall (the point at which you want to just stop and be able to breathe like a normal person and not be in incredible discomfort, and you have to summon every ounce of mental and physical strength to push forward), I was running toward my old junior high school. It was literally looming directly in front of me. I wanted to slow down, really slow down, but then I thought about being in P.E. at that school, when I would have just given and walked; in fact, I probably wouldn't have started running to begin with. I thought about how I had this mental handicap back then that made me think that I couldn't run, couldn't be fit, and how I looked at the athletic girls in my class and secretly wished I could be more like them. And I kept running. I put my head down, began a chorus of "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa in my head, and I rounded that corner right in front of my old junior high.
And then I kept going. Rounded another corner and saw the finish line with it's flashing timer. I was not happy with what I saw. Hard as I had pushed myself, that timer was telling me I was already two and a half minutes behind my PR. It would've been enough to make me give up, except my blessed memory stepped in to say that, no, that wasn't my time, because the race organizers had staggered the 5k and 10k runners by five minutes, meaning that my time was actually two and a half minutes faster than my PR. That was all it took. Salt-N-Pepa kept pushin' it in my head and I kept pushin' it with my legs for a minute that felt like an eternity, and I crossed that finish line with a new record. I placed second in my age group, which was not the most significant accomplishment given how small the race was and the huge gap between the first place finisher's time and mine (which would have easily been filled by my friend Audra if she wasn't 9 months pregnant!). Still, it was nice to be recognized for an athletic accomplishment at the awards ceremony, a novelty only a small town race could provide.
So that's it- the story so far. I still have the longest runs I have ever completed and a 10k ahead of me, but if the rest of the journey is a lot like what it's been so far, then it'll be bittersweet when it's over. Thanks for reading :-)
-Melissa
Sunday, June 2, 2013
My Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
This prayer is commonly used by alcoholics in recovery, but its message is applicable to anyone who is at some kind of a crossroads in his or her life, even someone like me who doesn't really believe in God. Lately, I have found myself reciting some form of this prayer in my head, addressing the universe in general rather than any particular god, to help me cope with the state of limbo in which I find myself at this point in my life.
Most people who know me know that I have found it challenging, to say the least, to live where I currently do. In fact, in the past 6 years, I have experienced feelings similar to the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I started out thinking living here would be a very temporary situation; once year 1 went by and it seemed we weren't going anywhere anytime soon (thanks, recession), I became angry. I became aware that I was spending my 20s, the supposed self-exploratory prime of one's life, in a place that did not exactly foster self-exploration. There were a lot of fights between Israel and me, and some resentment on my part. This was soon followed by my scheming and budget planning and proposals to Israel in efforts to convince the both of us that there was really nothing stopping us from picking up and leaving. Israel's stubborn (and practical...and responsible) refusals of my propositions sent me into the next phase: depression. And yes, I was genuinely depressed for a period of time- I felt friendless, hopeless, and my main source of joy was eating chicken chile verde with sour cream on a large bed of white rice. Luckily, a combination of emotional maturation a new sense of career direction pulled me out of this and showed me a light at the end of the tunnel, pushing me along to the final phase: acceptance.
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| Feeling most like myself: Coffee in hand, wandering downtown LA waiting for a live performance of Waiting For Godot to begin. |
Before anyone thinks that I am loosely applying a concept meant to address real loss to my own first-world problem, I'll just tell you, you're right. And to those that have experienced real loss, please don't think that I am minimizing your experiences by comparing them to my own. That being said, I was grieving a loss, not of someone, but something: my expectations for my twenties. And before my family members and friends who have faced greater adversity than I have, who didn't have luxury of envisioning a carefree decade of personal and professional growth, roll their eyes and dismiss me as a spoiled brat, reserve your judgments and keep in mind that the only experiences we know are our own, and in my experience, I was on the path to spend my 20s eating, drinking, and museum-hopping in a major city- the small town girl who got out of the small town and never looked back. When the slow realization came that this would not happen, it was devastating to my sense of identity.
As I said before, maturity and a renewed sense of direction led to my eventual acceptance of my current geographic location. Beginning my studies in speech-language pathology not only introduced to me a career that was challenging and stimulating enough without being completely intimidating, but the high-demand and comfortable salary gave me hope that we would someday be able to live where we wanted. On top of that, as I entered my later 20s, I became able to appreciate the solid and loving relationship that Israel and I had developed during our time living here. And I have yet to mention the renewed bond with members of my extended family who live here; going to family parties, watching the children of my brother and my cousin's grow up, being in the comforting presence of people who understand my crazy family because they are my crazy family, are all priceless gifts that I would never have received had I been distracted by the glamour of a big city. For these reasons, I have decided to not regret my time living here; it has grounded me and connected me to the things that are real and unchanging in life, family and love.
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| My family really is pretty great... |
There is no regret, but I am still the same person I was when I first moved here 6 years ago, the same person I was at the age of 17 when I decided to go away to San Diego for college, the same person I was who never really fit into the small town my mother decided to raise me in. And that person, me- I long to be in a different environment. There is a part of me that comes alive when I am in the city, and not just when I am doing fun things on Saturdays, but when I am in class with some of the most intelligent women I've ever met, when I am observing at rehabilitation facilities with talented professionals who are applying the concepts and methods that my eager mind is absorbing in school, even when I am stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway at 1pm on a weekday, listening to KCRW. I've lived in a city and in a small town, and I know which I prefer.
As I enter the final year of my studies, the light at the end of the tunnel is becoming larger and larger, and I am getting closer and closer to having greater control over my circumstances. In the meantime, though, my situation remains the same, and there is much that is out of my control. My acceptance of this situation is precarious, though, as I find myself alternating between and simultaneously experiencing those old feelings of grief: denial that we have to wait another year to move, anger that there is nothing we can do about it right now, bargaining with the same old budget proposals that could buy us an early move, depression about my inability to jump forward a year, and, in my most mature and well-rested moments, acceptance that this year will be spent living in the same situation as the previous 6. But this time there is hope. There is a timeline in place and, in the grand scheme of life, it is a relatively short timeline at that. So that is where the serenity prayer comes in. Israel and I are doing everything in our power to ensure that a move happens within our expected timeline. Those things that are not in our power, we need to serenely accept to avoid undue stress and unhappiness. It's when I can't tell the difference between the two that I get myself into trouble. So, I say again:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Lifestyle In Progress: Upkeep of My "Temple"
This week, I started getting comments from friends about (positive) changes in my appearance. Unlike a couple of years ago, when I lost a significant amount of weight without trying (don't hate me, it was my first year teaching- and I gained a lot of it back), this time the changes in my body were the result of conscious choices. You see, I am turning 29 this year, and I suppose I had some realization that time's a-marchin' on and I ain't gettin' any younger, nor is my body becoming any more efficient at using the calories I consume. In fact, as we all know, it becomes quite less efficient, and 30 seems like that magic age before which, if you make changes, they will be easier to make and maintain. So, as I see 30 coming closer and closer, I have incorporated some said changes into my lifestyle.
These changes were not made in an effort to lose weight, so much as to ensure that I can maintain my current weight as age changes my metabolism. Please note that I did not make these changes all at once, nor did I make them spontaneously. They reflect things that I have learned over the past couple of years, and considered carefully in terms of my realistic ability to sustain them as habits. Also note that these are not necessarily recommendations (as I am not qualified to make those), but rather choices that have worked for me. I am sharing them now because they have culminated in a lifestyle that I am becoming proud of, and feel that they might be helpful to some.
1. Limit ALL white grains. Man, did it take me a while to implement this one. Most of us know by now that white grains are not good for us. In fact, one of my friends recently told me that her nutritionist said they basically convert straight to sugar in your body. I had little trouble switching out bread and pasta for whole grains. No, the killer for me was rice. Soft, fluffy, buttery, delicious white rice that I have been eating and loving my whole life- it was a real crusher when I found out that this would have to go. Earlier this year, I decided to stop buying my ubiquitous side dish at the grocery store, so I cannot cook it anymore. I still have it when my mom makes her legendary Mexican rice, or when I go to a Mexican or Asian restaurant, but aside from that, no more white rice for me. Here are some substitutes that I frequently use now to take the place of rice and pasta:
Red lentils
Quinoa
Bulgur wheat
Brown rice (Frozen, from Trader Joe's. I don't mess with trying to cook that stuff.)
Spaghetti Squash
2. Replace coffee with green tea. Another one I had to consider for a while. I knew that coffee was a source of cholesterol, fat (because of the half and half I love to add) and sugar. I tried swapping those out for almond milk and agave nectar, but it wasn't as good, and I realized that, if coffee is not delicious, I don't really need it. I still drink it on the weekends (the delicious, half-and-half-and-sugar version, guilt free), but on the week days, I now prefer some Trader Joe's Organic Green Tea.
3. Eat mostly fish, soy, and legumes for protein. This actually started with Israel deciding that he wanted to be a pescatarian. We started grocery shopping only for fish and soy products (which, I'll admit, makes cooking less fun); the only poultry we still eat at home is my turkey chili, because, well, yum (note: it can also be made with tofu or double the amount of beans). We eat salmon, tilapia, tuna, tofu, tempeh, and veggie burgers. We also supplement with more black beans and lentils- low/no cholesterol protein, essentially.
4. Limit dairy consumption. This is more about the way dairy makes me feel. I tend to feel kinda bloated and (let's be honest) gassy when I eat dairy. I still love the way it tastes, but mainly the full-fat variety; unfortunately, with all of the saturated fat and cholesterol, it's just not something I can have in my daily diet. And no, low/no-fat is not an option for me, as I find its existence an almost pointless oxymoron. My dairy consumption is generally limited to two slices of cheese per week, and maybe an egg or two on the weekends. I use almond milk for smoothies and cereal.
5. Choose "healthy" take-out options. Because, of course, life gets busy and cooking isn't always an option, I have some stand-by, relatively harmless takeout go-to options that I can eat guilt-free, other than the possible presence of chemical preservatives and high sodium levels (though I do try to eat at places that make natural ingredients a priority). Some favorites: Salmon or tuna roll from my favorite sushi place (one roll is enough, and not the ones with cream cheese, fried and drenched in sauce- fresh is best); Chipotle bowl with brown rice, black beans, grilled veggies, pico de gallo, medium salsa, and guacamole; and Sharky's Fresh Mexican Grill's Santa Fe Lite Burrito.
6. Portions, Portions, Portions. There is no mystery here. There is not a single person with the level of activity most of us have who should be eating a large, heaping plate of food. My friend Tara said she has learned that your should eat until you are 80% full, then stop and see how you feel. I am still trying to learn to gauge that, so, for now, I am using my visual perception and trying to only eat meals that are equivalent in volume to (what I estimate is) the size of my stomach. My cousin said she heard that this is about the volume of your two hands cupped together (see how we all share info to help each other out?). For most, this should be able to fit on a small plate. You may have to eat more often, so it is important to pack snacks like fruit and nuts. Also: chew, swallow, and breathe before taking another bite. You'll be surprised how much less you eat when you eat more slowly, sometimes because you run out of time to eat or you just get bored of eating.
7. Exercise most days of the week. I would say a number, and it would probable be 5-6 days a week, but I know that sometimes that is not realistic for everyone (including me). But I think that most of us can commit to at least 30 minutes of exercise, 4 days a week. My love of running is well-documented in this blog, but I have recently added some light weight training and occasional cross-training to my repertoire. And I don't do it all in one day. This is not the exercise of your early 20s, where it's been so long since you went to the gym that you feel like you have to stay at least an hour and a half to make up for lost time, and then burn out after 2 weeks. No, I run 3-4 days a week for 30-50 minutes (depending on the length of my run) and go to the gym twice a week for 45 minutes (an hour if I am there with a friend, just because it's more fun!). Some days I like to try at-home workouts that look interesting from Pinterest or things people post of Facebook. It really is just about finding a way to stay active.
8. A couple more randoms...
I sort of count calories- not in any exact way, but I have enough knowledge of the foods I eat to keep a rough estimate, which helps me keep how much I eat in check. I subtract calories I burned during workouts to make sure I am eating enough.
I pay attention to how many grams of sugar and fat I eat (again, a rough estimate). I've read that neither should exceed 30 grams for women. Sugar is still an issue for me, because, again, yum.
Phew. Feels like that was a lot. Again, this is all information that I have learned and implemented over a course of time, and it has been effective at helping me reach my personal health goals. It brought my cholesterol down (it was a little high last year), has strengthened my body, improved my digestion, and yes, I did lose a couple of pounds. However, I do caution that I have been doing all of this for a few months now, and I just barely lost about 4 pounds, so, really, these changes are not likely to result in rapid weight loss. They are likely to result in feeling generally healthier. I'd like to also add that this is not a regimen, but rather a list of ways I have incorporated healthier options into my already existing routine. Finally, none of these practices (except maybe #6 and 7) applies on the weekends. Little Melissa has to have her fun ;-).
I sincerely hope that some of this information might be helpful to anyone who is considering making some lifestyle changes. I know it can be daunting, but keep in mind that a small change can make a big difference when it snowballs, as small changes often do. Good luck!
 |
| Do you see why I finally decided to get my act together?? Only 417 days- nooooooo! |
These changes were not made in an effort to lose weight, so much as to ensure that I can maintain my current weight as age changes my metabolism. Please note that I did not make these changes all at once, nor did I make them spontaneously. They reflect things that I have learned over the past couple of years, and considered carefully in terms of my realistic ability to sustain them as habits. Also note that these are not necessarily recommendations (as I am not qualified to make those), but rather choices that have worked for me. I am sharing them now because they have culminated in a lifestyle that I am becoming proud of, and feel that they might be helpful to some.
1. Limit ALL white grains. Man, did it take me a while to implement this one. Most of us know by now that white grains are not good for us. In fact, one of my friends recently told me that her nutritionist said they basically convert straight to sugar in your body. I had little trouble switching out bread and pasta for whole grains. No, the killer for me was rice. Soft, fluffy, buttery, delicious white rice that I have been eating and loving my whole life- it was a real crusher when I found out that this would have to go. Earlier this year, I decided to stop buying my ubiquitous side dish at the grocery store, so I cannot cook it anymore. I still have it when my mom makes her legendary Mexican rice, or when I go to a Mexican or Asian restaurant, but aside from that, no more white rice for me. Here are some substitutes that I frequently use now to take the place of rice and pasta:
Red lentils
Quinoa
Bulgur wheat
Brown rice (Frozen, from Trader Joe's. I don't mess with trying to cook that stuff.)
Spaghetti Squash
 |
| Cooked bulgur wheat. If you're a wonderful Middle Eastern chef like my friend Rita, you can make it from scratch. I make the instant 10-minute kind from TJ's. I don't love it on its own, but it adds heartiness when mixed with vegetables and proteins. Coincidentally , this plate is also the size I usually eat dinner off of (see: Portions, Portions, Portions). |
2. Replace coffee with green tea. Another one I had to consider for a while. I knew that coffee was a source of cholesterol, fat (because of the half and half I love to add) and sugar. I tried swapping those out for almond milk and agave nectar, but it wasn't as good, and I realized that, if coffee is not delicious, I don't really need it. I still drink it on the weekends (the delicious, half-and-half-and-sugar version, guilt free), but on the week days, I now prefer some Trader Joe's Organic Green Tea.
3. Eat mostly fish, soy, and legumes for protein. This actually started with Israel deciding that he wanted to be a pescatarian. We started grocery shopping only for fish and soy products (which, I'll admit, makes cooking less fun); the only poultry we still eat at home is my turkey chili, because, well, yum (note: it can also be made with tofu or double the amount of beans). We eat salmon, tilapia, tuna, tofu, tempeh, and veggie burgers. We also supplement with more black beans and lentils- low/no cholesterol protein, essentially.
 |
| Lentils: surprisingly delicious. Tofu: either you love it or you hate it, and I love it. Black beans: I could eat every day. I make a large batch of beans like this one (some has already been used for chili) by simmering 3 cups of dry beans with some salt, cumin, crushed garlic cloves, and bay leaves, until the beans are tender. |
4. Limit dairy consumption. This is more about the way dairy makes me feel. I tend to feel kinda bloated and (let's be honest) gassy when I eat dairy. I still love the way it tastes, but mainly the full-fat variety; unfortunately, with all of the saturated fat and cholesterol, it's just not something I can have in my daily diet. And no, low/no-fat is not an option for me, as I find its existence an almost pointless oxymoron. My dairy consumption is generally limited to two slices of cheese per week, and maybe an egg or two on the weekends. I use almond milk for smoothies and cereal.
5. Choose "healthy" take-out options. Because, of course, life gets busy and cooking isn't always an option, I have some stand-by, relatively harmless takeout go-to options that I can eat guilt-free, other than the possible presence of chemical preservatives and high sodium levels (though I do try to eat at places that make natural ingredients a priority). Some favorites: Salmon or tuna roll from my favorite sushi place (one roll is enough, and not the ones with cream cheese, fried and drenched in sauce- fresh is best); Chipotle bowl with brown rice, black beans, grilled veggies, pico de gallo, medium salsa, and guacamole; and Sharky's Fresh Mexican Grill's Santa Fe Lite Burrito.
 |
| I don't really keep track of my sodium intake, so I couldn't tell you about that, but otherwise the stats looks pretty good for yummy takeout! |
6. Portions, Portions, Portions. There is no mystery here. There is not a single person with the level of activity most of us have who should be eating a large, heaping plate of food. My friend Tara said she has learned that your should eat until you are 80% full, then stop and see how you feel. I am still trying to learn to gauge that, so, for now, I am using my visual perception and trying to only eat meals that are equivalent in volume to (what I estimate is) the size of my stomach. My cousin said she heard that this is about the volume of your two hands cupped together (see how we all share info to help each other out?). For most, this should be able to fit on a small plate. You may have to eat more often, so it is important to pack snacks like fruit and nuts. Also: chew, swallow, and breathe before taking another bite. You'll be surprised how much less you eat when you eat more slowly, sometimes because you run out of time to eat or you just get bored of eating.
7. Exercise most days of the week. I would say a number, and it would probable be 5-6 days a week, but I know that sometimes that is not realistic for everyone (including me). But I think that most of us can commit to at least 30 minutes of exercise, 4 days a week. My love of running is well-documented in this blog, but I have recently added some light weight training and occasional cross-training to my repertoire. And I don't do it all in one day. This is not the exercise of your early 20s, where it's been so long since you went to the gym that you feel like you have to stay at least an hour and a half to make up for lost time, and then burn out after 2 weeks. No, I run 3-4 days a week for 30-50 minutes (depending on the length of my run) and go to the gym twice a week for 45 minutes (an hour if I am there with a friend, just because it's more fun!). Some days I like to try at-home workouts that look interesting from Pinterest or things people post of Facebook. It really is just about finding a way to stay active.
 |
| This is an example of an at-home workout I do. You wouldn't think that a routine that could be summed up in so few words, with such simple instructions and no equipment could kick your butt as much as this kicks mine! Source: fitsugar |
8. A couple more randoms...
I sort of count calories- not in any exact way, but I have enough knowledge of the foods I eat to keep a rough estimate, which helps me keep how much I eat in check. I subtract calories I burned during workouts to make sure I am eating enough.
I pay attention to how many grams of sugar and fat I eat (again, a rough estimate). I've read that neither should exceed 30 grams for women. Sugar is still an issue for me, because, again, yum.
Phew. Feels like that was a lot. Again, this is all information that I have learned and implemented over a course of time, and it has been effective at helping me reach my personal health goals. It brought my cholesterol down (it was a little high last year), has strengthened my body, improved my digestion, and yes, I did lose a couple of pounds. However, I do caution that I have been doing all of this for a few months now, and I just barely lost about 4 pounds, so, really, these changes are not likely to result in rapid weight loss. They are likely to result in feeling generally healthier. I'd like to also add that this is not a regimen, but rather a list of ways I have incorporated healthier options into my already existing routine. Finally, none of these practices (except maybe #6 and 7) applies on the weekends. Little Melissa has to have her fun ;-).
I sincerely hope that some of this information might be helpful to anyone who is considering making some lifestyle changes. I know it can be daunting, but keep in mind that a small change can make a big difference when it snowballs, as small changes often do. Good luck!
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